Seeing the Wind

I love that spring is here. Absolutely love it. This morning I walked out of church and spring hit me in the face. It was wonderful. I attempted to take a picture of what I saw, but no picture will ever capture the beauty of the real thing. I thought it was a beautiful site yesterday when I saw it, but today it was just perfect. I am so incredibly blessed to live around so much beauty.

Across the street from my church is a beautiful old farm. The house and barns are all a beautiful white which looks amazing in contrast to the green that is now everywhere. There is a small pasture in between the house and road for the cows and fields for what seems like forever surrounding the rest of the house. There were sheets and clothes hanging on the close lines behind the house that were blowing in the wind. There is a table and chairs set up in the back yard and a woman was bringing a tray to the table from the house. 

That is the life I want. Sure, it would be fun to make tons of money and be able to afford to go anywhere I want whenever I want and be able to shop whenever I want, but I've lived that life. I grew up in that atmosphere, and while I can't say that it was bad or I didn't enjoy it, I know that a simpler way of life is what I really crave. I want a slower pace of life, where it's ok to take the day to sit in a chair and read a book on the porch. I want to be able to look out my window and not see a tall building. I want to wake up early in the moring to watch the sunrise and I want to go to bed late watching the fireflies.

As I drove down the road towards home, I passed the surrounding fields of growing corn. Right now the corn just looks like 6 inch grasses. I saw the wind. Well, maybe not literally, but watching the wind whip across those grasses is just about as close to seeing the wind as you can get.

I love spring.

Events of a Saturday

Today was busy and left me exhausted, but it wasn't overall a bad day, so I'm happy. After venting my frustrations last night on my last blog, I felt better. The frustration still exists, but isn't quite as forefront in my head as it was last night.

It was around 2:30am when I went to bed last night. As I walked upstairs to bed, I noticed that the TV in my parents room was still on. Figuring dad couldn't sleep, I thought I'd walk in there to say goodnight. I walked in to see mom sound asleep in the bed and dad laying in the middle of the floor. Apparently sleeping on the floor is the new cool thing. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was snore really loud and roll over. Haha.

I was supposed to go play tennis with mom and Paul (my brother) this morning at 7:30, but that did not happen. When I woke up at 9, I got ready and headed over to church to help mom set up the Easter flowers. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. I walked into the church to see a palm tree maid out of balloons on the sanctuary stage. My church is pretty small and very conservative and the balloon tree was incredibly distracting. I don't get it at all, but whatever, not my deal. Haha. The flowers look beautiful. I'm so happy to finally see the colors of sping coming back out. It's been dull and grey for way too long.

After leaving church, I went to Wally World to get some things to bake for Paul's baseball bingo fundraiser. I made chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese icing and white chocolate covered pretzels with sprinkes. They turned out super cute! Baking is a stress relief for me. I love it.

Paul's baseball bingo was...boring, to be honest. I suck at bingo. I don't particulary enjoy playing bingo and I've had to play it twice in the past month for fundraisers and didn't win a thing at either event. Needless to say, my bingo-playing days are over. The cupcakes and pretzels were a hit, though! Yay!

At the very end of the evening, while we were cleaning up the cafeteria, the night went downhill way fast. Paul came up and told us about something he had done that evening. I'm not going to say what this thing is, but it's something that one may not think is a big deal, but could have very large consequences. People make mistakes and do stupid things, especially at the egging of friends, so if Paul had shown any remorse at all I would have just let it go. The situation is quite the opposite, though. He doesn't feel that what he did was wrong at all and actually said, "I have no remorse for what I did." That infuriates me. My brother is a better person than that. Hopefully after a nights sleep, he'll realize the seriousness of his actions and own up to it. That's what I'm praying for anyway. If you'd pray the same, I would greatly appreciate it.

It is now nearly 1am and I need to sleep. My body is exhausted and sore for some unknown reason, but I need sleep. I'll end here so that I can be awake while teaching Sunday School tomorrow. Goodnight!

Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin

I know I already posted once today, but technically it's tomorrow since it's 12:24 am and I'm pretty frustrated.

I get tired of being the polite one sometimes. I mean really tired of it. As a Christian, I try to be respectful of other's opinions on varying subjects because I know that trying to shove my beliefs down people's throats is never an effective way of getting them to hear what I have to say. And in the grand scheme of things, hearing the Truth is what is really important because their eternity is at stake, and I don't want that to be put in jeopardy because I was frustrated and lost my temper. But why, WHY, do I have to be the only one who is respectful? Why can't that go both ways? I'm not asking for them to take what I say and drop to their knees and thank me for helping them see the light. I'm only asking for the same respect I give them.

I had a discussion tonight about equal rights in regards to homosexual marriages. Obvoiusly I am against homosexual relationships. I don't think any less of any gay person. I don't steer clear of gay people because they are just people. It's what their doing that I disagree with. God is very clear in the Bible about homosexuality. It's a non-issue for me. But I will not judge someone because they have chosen to live their life that way. I've done my fair share of sins and would hope that others don't judge me because of it. Love the sinner, hate the sin. In this discussion I created the opportunity to share my beliefs on this issue, because I don't just want to sit back and keep my mouth silent when I have the opportunity to tell about God's Word. Throughout this discussion, myself and my beliefs were belittled and treated like it was all crazy talk. The other person attempted to attack me into a corner, but I respectfully shared my beliefs, answered the questions and tried to offer clarity. It didn't surprise me when the other person just gave up on the conversation, but I couldn't help but feel relieved when they did, which I now feel bad about. There's only so much ridicule and belittling one person can take before they don't want to hear it anymore, especially when I'm making a conscious effort to be respectful to this person. I know that I said everything I could to this person, but the feeling of relief when the conversation was over makes me feel bad. I guess I can only pray now that what I said will resinate in their minds and will make them think. I just can't help but be frustrated, still.

John 15:12 "This is my commandment that ye love one another, as I have loved you."

God loves us unconditionally. We sin. We mess up. We fall short. He loves us anyway. The only thing he asks from us is that we do our best to live our life to honor Him, spread His word, and ask forgiveness when we mess up. We are to love others the same way. We are to love without conditions. We are to hold other accountable for their sins, but never judge. This is for all people, not just heterosexuals, white people, American's, etc. EVERYONE. God forgives us a counless number of times. We are to do the same.Grudges hurt no one but yourself.

How is it that I do all I can to be respectful in sharing my beliefs just to be ridiculed and then I end up being the one who feels guilty in the end? Maybe it's because it's nearly 1am and I am in desperate need of sleep, but I'm just really frustrated about that.

Ok, I suppose that's all I need to say. I just needed to get it out and I'm pretty sure calling Corey right now just to vent wouldn't have made him too happy seeing as he leaves for VA Beach in a few hours.

Excitement

Well, I've not written anything in a few days and that's mostly because nothing interesting has happened that is worth writing about. There are a few things that I've gotten very excited about, though, so that's what I'm going to share today.

1) I had an Economics test yesterday. After I rocked that I decided to drive to downtown Westminster to The Hickory Stick to check out the new Vera Bradley that is out. I could spend days looking at that stuff. I'm not a fan of Calypso or Bali Gold, but my new obsessions are Bali Blue and Hope Garden. I have zero money, but broke out the credit card to buy a clipboard, flipflops, key chain, and organizer. Vera brings out my worst habits. After leaving my favorite little shop I called Corey to inform him that he needs to find a job STAT so that he can fund my addiction. That leads me to excitement #2.

2) Corey called me this morning and told me that he has an interview in Timonium on Monday at 1:45 for an entry level marketing position. If he gets this job it would mean many things that would make me very happy. First, I'd be able to live at home up until the wedding and not have to pay rent anywhere. Secondly, I'd be able to get a job now, which means more money to save and I can also fund my own Vera addiction.

3) I went to the doctors this morning. April starts the thrid month that I've seriously started trying to get healthy and lose a significant amount of weight so I don't have weight related problems later in life. As of today I've lost 20 pounds. I'd like that number to be higher, but I'll take what I can get. It made me happy to put on a shirt that I bought months ago that I swore I'd fit into one day and it fit.

5) Now this is probably the most exciting of all for me today. Tonight I have to write a paper and a discussion board and I will officially be on spring break. Really, it's far over due. I needed this break weeks ago. I do have to do replies to the discussion board on Monday and then a quiz on Wednesday next week, but that's all and I'm thrilled about it. After Corey's interview on Monday I will go down to Virginia and help Mel transform the little house, which was once going to be Corey and I'd house after we got married, into her thrift shop. I'm very excited about this. I'll explain another day why we aren't going to live there anymore, but it was the best decision.

I love days when I feel happy for multiple reasons and even though I know there are some things I should focus on today, I'm refusing to think about those things today because nothing will ruin my day today.